For today. Kinda ok i guess. Data Comm lab work was a total disaster! =0( I can't think. Ok la, i normally also can't think the normal way. Buff~. Everything is fine i guess. =0) Just a normal day.
But i am excited about Thursday. And finally, it seems the load is off. For a little bit. A little bit. =0) Solution came today. And hopefully, it's will prolong the problem from getting worst. =0) I am optimistic. And and and. Gonna watch Harry Potter on thursday! Like...happiness! =0)
And tomorrow gonna start jogging. For 2.4 and shuttle run. My two main problem. AND AND AND..the jumping that one. STANDING BROAD JUMP! I cannot do standing broad jump. =0( Reasons obvious can.
AND AND AND.. i didn't know the dialoge session so MAFAN de. I WILL SKIP hendi's lesson. =0( See, i always get myself into shit without knowing why. =.= Sighs. Tomorrow got some rehearsal or something. Nice one! =.=
But i am looking forward to ... thursday. HARRY POTTER. And perhaps...i wanna go drink after that. =0) Anyone want?
Nut: Eh, what happened? Mich: uh?? What thing? Nut: Don't pretend, see your face i know liaos. Mich: *sighs* Nut: Don't sigh, what's wrong with you today? Mich: 自卑.. Nut: Heh? Mich: Need me to translate? Inferior. Nut: woahs. why. Don't make me laugh leh, you feel inferior? Mich: Because because.... Nut: But what people say also true right? right? Mich: .... yea hor. Nut: Treat it as a form of motivation lo. Mich: Hmmms. But hor...will feel zi bei de ma. Nut: Conceal your zi bei-ness and treat it as motivation la. Feel zibei because you admit it right? That means, treat it as motivation la. Mich: How to. Easy to say, hard to do! Nut: You got try meh? Mich: Got! 70%, Nut: Haven 100% percent then don't complain. Mich: But hor, i don't know why i keep feeling like this. Pms ar? Nut: You are weird one mah. Got different set of thinkings. Once change, all your thinking change. See you become so pessimistic now. Mich: Where got?! Nut: Still say don't have? Have means have, say don't have for what? Nut: See, you are that weird. If you feel so, why say otherwise? Nut: If you want A, then why still say take B? Mich: I also got no preference de... Nut: You obviously don't get my point. The main things is...you tend to be kou shi xing fei. Especially to yourself hor. Mich: Izzit? Natural one ma. You tell me who so honest. Nut: No one that honest. But at least be honest to yourself right. Nut: Remember your key ring? Never rely on others for happiness. Mich: But how to not rely? We living in a world and we share the world with other humans, we affect each other in a way leh. Nut: ya ya ya. I know that theory. But be selective can? Mich: Aiyo,this things how to control one. Nut: If you want you can. It really depends on how much you want it. Mich: Easy for you to say! Nut: Certain things, don't take it to heart. Don't see things so hard or hold them so importantly. Mich: .... Nut: You see you know, think this think that. Mich: But some things really make me think too much. Not that i want one. Nut: Then learn to divert your thoughts. Learn to think about it in another way. Why want to think about it in that way? Mich: Can meh? But i go by the theory - prepare for the worst. Nut: You happier like that ar? Mich: no. Nut: THEN?! Why waste your time fretting about things you cannot change? Mich: But you see, i care about how people think, how people feel especially when i am involved. Mich: Once i do something wrong, i will be forever stuck in that moment. I will be stuck in that moment of shame. Nut: See, you cannot let things go. Once over means over. Try to change and not stuck there WONDERING why and not being able to accept it. Questioning and blaming yourself don't improve situation. Mich: I will try lo. But you know, need alot of courage, which i don't have. Nut: You don't dare?! Push yourself to the limit! You used to say your cannot handle maths. Now what, you got fail or not? You used to say you sucks at computer. Then now better right? Nut: You don't try, you won't know whether you can or not. Don't short change yourself can. Mich: but hor, the moment i think of how others feel, i totally give up. Nut: Then why think? Mich: it's my natural reaction liao! Nut: Can change one right. And don't tell me it's natural reaction, it's just a habit. A bad habit. Nut: Why is it that you tend to view people differently at different times? Mich: Because my thinking keeps changing. Sometimes i find people very nice, sometimes i fear them. Nut: And you are annoyed when you fear them? Mich: Of course la! How can i not be sia?! Nut: Then get rid of it lo. Easy. Mich: Like i said, it's easy for you to say. Nut: Yaya. You don't even want to try. Easy for you to complain. Hard for me to keep listening to you complain. Mich: Ok la, i learn la. But i tell you this one very weird one. After a certain date hor, then nothing liao. Nut: Ya i know. But learn to get rid of this habit mah. Like menses? One month once ar? Not sian? Mich: Ya hor. You not sian i also sian. Nut: Can continue this conversation next time? I am freaking sleepy. And please, instead of thinking and thinking and thinking, spent your time sleeping well can. Mich: Orh~
And no, i am not suffering from a serious case of split personality. I figured out that, if i got a twin, we might be talking like that. Nut and Mich. If you are wondering, they are the same person. It feels better blogging in such conversation. More erm, easy to plan my thoughts and talk myself out of pathetic situation. =0) Ya. Obviously i am stuck in my lil world of nonsense. It's so nonsensical that it's suffocating me. But i must learn to not think too much and take things so ... erm.... medium hard?
I miss... Really. If i can invent something, i wanna have a time freezing machine and let everything stop there. Perhaps.
Okies. I think.. i gotta head to sleep . People, can give me a break? I seriously want that now. Wait till i get out of this shit then give me hell can? =0) I also don't know who am i already. I even lose track of myself. HAAS!
Okies. I think.. i shall...head to sleep. Think happy thoughts think happy thoughts!
BOTTLED 10:43 PM l 0 Bottle(s)