Thursday, July 26, 2007

I am blogging this not because anything happened, just some piled up feelings.

*sighs* Perhaps. I don’t know. Like perhaps 11months ++ back then, I didn’t felt so. Or rather, no one believed I could actually be so “faithful” to this feeling.
Oh my gosh, I don’t know how to blog about things now.

There are times when you wished you can be deaf, can be blind (oh, that need no wishing ) , can be heartless and can be emotionless. But they always say I am someone that is willing to spend 10hours of sadness for one minute of happiness. Perhaps. But the 10hours of sadness is as torturous as anything. But I usually tide through them unharmed.

Certain things, the more you don’t want to hear, the more you get to hear them. The more you want to appear nonchalant, the more you spill the beans. Interesting the way Almighty up there likes to make a fool out of me eh. How do I put things into words? *sighs* Ok, like I tried means and ways to forget, but the harder you try, the harder it is to achieve it. But when you don’t try, you only know you can sink in deeper and deeper and deeper. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you only have eyes for one thing. And sorry to you-know-who-you-are.

At times, I really don’t understand what I want too. I don’t know what I intend to do. All mich know is to escape from reality. I just want to live in my own world where I will be protected from the outside world. But that mean I will never grow up. *sighs*

No one but myself to blame. Prepared to forget, and things happen to pull you back.

But at least it becomes a form of comfort. At least. I remember feeling sad and afraid due to certain things. But the thought of it calms my mind. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s a form of strength? You know I am a timid person although I don’t look like one. Reason for being timid? Think too much. But so many things and so many things.

This form of support gives me strength and yet made me the weaker. *sighs*

Log off now! Shall follow up with pictures again and pictures.
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