So I have been a nice girl studying for the past one hour. I have been doing INDEC tutorials (like I did them so many times since CT ) and I realized it’s a MCQ test, so why bother. And I have time now for a decent entry. And when I mean a decent entry for my blog I mean something totally nothing to do with my life. Just some thoughts I have when seeing the way people do things. Ok, before anything, my mouth is in total trouble and I have no idea what’s wrong with it. My lower left row of teeth are like feeling so weird. Like any moment, they will all fall off. Especially when you bite down, you can feel them moving a little. The feeling is so Eww! What’s the point of brushing my teeth twice day and at times even after meals? See, at times no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you want to maintain things, things will still go wrong. But of course, I will still continue brushing (like duh).
It’s 1.15am now and I am not asleep. I am desperately trying to look for shows to watch and that reminds me, WhyWhyLove new epi 8 is out already! Ok. No, it’s not out on Youtube yet. And I need something to distract me from biting my teeth or I guess all will fall off soon. I can’t imagine my mouth with no teeth! *gasp*
I was just wondering….if it would be great if we all didn’t have feelings. Perhaps, we won’t get to enjoy happiness. But what would we know when we have no feelings? We don’t even get to get sadness. That is the main point. I used to tell myself that it is alright to suffer sadness because that will make you understand what happiness is. But I am so sick and tired of feeling that kind of unpleasant feeling. Especially when it happens to people close to me. I shan’t blog about what happen, but at times I can’t understand people. Why is it that people can turn faces so fast? Why is it that you can appear so happy in front of someone and then turn faces the next. I really wonder. I can never pretend to like someone, and I used to think of it as something good, but as time goes by I realized, no, it isn’t good. I used to think of it as strength, but now, I think of it as weakness. I mean, survival skills. I have been hearing stories and watching teevee. I heard of office stories and it totally freak me out. It’s not a wonderland out there and I have been in my little place for too long. You know people smiling to you everyday at work can be the one sabotaging you at work. It’s totally so not right. I hate that. And if I just feel someone doing that, I will automatically give a “I don’t care about you” face, and that is like when I don’t get facts right. =.= When I am out with people, and you know, normally in a big group, there are also people I not so like. And I tend to give that you know..that face. And it’s totally not pleasant, I know that, but I can’t help it! Michelle, don’t like also don’t need to show out de. That is what I always hear. I know. But I can’t help it. You pissed me off and you expect me to smile at you? Totally insane right? Unless you give me a reasonable reason why you want to piss me off.
Sometimes people do things expecting you to understand. Hello, if you don’t speak up, no one understand alright? So what if all girls/females are sensitive creatures and will definitely understand what is going on? Stop your assuming, it’s totally pissing me off. No offence! But I really need to understand and comprehend your weird actions. But of course, I can’t possibly stop your weird actions. But as long as it affects me, I can’t help but probe into it and question your insanity. Ok, perhaps you are never sane and I can see that. Wait, why does it sounds like I am directing at someone? OF COURSE I am! Feel so cheated alright,
But I am so sick of people smiling like there is nothing wrong and doing things at the back like no one knows. Was chatting with sam (*sorry once again*) and she totally agree with me! But at times it’s misunderstandings. But I am pretty sure this is not. Perhaps it’s YOUR way of protecting yourself? I am not sure. But I certainly cannot pretend to like you and smile to you and entertain your silly words. *sighs* If I could pretend to like you, I might be a happier girl (*and yes, it reads GIRL*).
I shouldn’t have waste my time ranting about this. *sighs* Getting into a poly surely opened my eyes. Getting prepared for the another world? I am sure it’s going to be worst. And that thought is freaky. I want to go back to secondary school. I want to go back to primary school. I want to go back to plucky mimosa days. I want to go back to ribena days. It’s pretty sad if you are forever on a standby mode you know? Like forever suspecting someone. Especially what you are thinking. Ok, perhaps I am doing a little of that now. But your case is like so much worst. Never mind, I told myself endure and it will be over soon. = ) I just want to cut all contacts with you because whatever you are doing make me so sick. Perhaps, I don’t understand how the game is played. I just want to get GameOver and get on with life.
Ok, this is so not a decent post but I am feeling so #$%#$$#%#%@$# over someone’s little act and I can’t get over it. *sighs* Okies. I got to head to sleep now! = ) Sorry for boring you with such entries again. I realized, when you have feelings for something, whatever is done hurts you more. Like you pet dog. You treat him like your own for like 4years. Everyday feeding it with your hand and one day, he bite you. You will feel so hurt! And it’s worst than letting a stranger’s dog bite you. Get what I mean? So friends and families always hurt the most actually.
Okies. Really time to sleep! Nights and have a nice day ahead people!
BOTTLED 1:45 AM l 0 Bottle(s)