Sis went to the airport already. First time she's gonna leave home for so long. Have a safe journey and learn to be more mature. Gonna miss her.
And now, sitting alone in the living room. Crapping and lame-ing with the crazy people. Well, afterall i realised, there is no point being sad or depressed. Sad or whatever shit, the problem still remains. Think through things and rather laugh it away or smile it away. Remember me saying that humans affect one another. Your mood, your actions affect another person. So, yeaps, i won't want to affect others right. And still i am so thankful that there are people awake at this hour to crap jokes! =0) Thanks.
Beside crapping around, i am reading something again. I consider it a form of erm stress relief. So dumb so dumb. Was telling them about my "form of stress relief" ... reading it. And they were like UH?~ Michelle, when are you so silly? Really? Silly? But i can read it 100 times and still smile and laugh and cry at the same time. (Time check : 1.47am) I am still reading it. These few days have been too chaotic for me. But i am sure i am fine.
And it's so chaotic that i forgot i told yue that i want to meet them up. Sorry girl. Miss you all so much but i barely have time to think about certain things. Sorry. What i do don't always follow what i think and what i feel. Like i miss them so so so so so so so much , but i can't and seems to be unable to make time to meet them. And i so miss those secondary school days with them.
Omg! I promised, no more sad post right. =0) No worries. I am over the sad and depressed mode. Problems still exist, but i know being sad or depressed ain't gonna improve situations. Keep a clear head (air head?) and think through things and i am sure i can solve them on my own.
I think i am irritating everyone on the chat. I can be such an ass at times. Haax. Can't be helped. After so long of not crapping and being crazy, i will go mad. And don't say i am faking it, it's really true that i am smiling. =0) Okok. And they are complaining that i am irritating now. Like crap, at least you all are smiling because i am dumb. AND IT'S ACTING DUMB alright. Not really dumb ok~ (Time check: 2am) I am still reading it. I think i can read and re-read and re-read. I know it sounds silly. But no matter what, i need something to calm myself. And i think, for the time being it's .... And i am still not sleeping because i refuse to off the comp and log off from the screen. I just want to stare at the page forever. It's where, i think i can laugh things off and smile. OMG. IT'S SO SILLY. But it's so silly that it's making me laugh. NO of course i am not LAUGHING OUT LOUD in the middle of the night. But the more i think about it, the more i find it silly. =x And yet funny.
They kept bugging me to let them read. =p NO WAY. Mwahahaha. Later let you all read le, my happiness gone, because you all will start to point this and that. =p No way no way.
I realised..i like to live in my own world. =.= That includes DREAMING about the impossible. Some weird things i tend to DAYDREAM about:
- Someone giving me a million SGD ( I am not that greedy for US) . And i will start to think of ways to spend it. I AM SUCHA DREAMER. - ** ** ** I wanted to blog this down, but say le freaking embarrassing so SKIP. - MEETING chester (linkin park). - Having Mike He as my bro ( OMG. did i just blogged that down!?). - ** ** ** Another super embarrassing one. - Living in a country that experience all the four seasons.
And alot more. I am a day dreamer remember? =0) (Time check: 2.11am) Still blogging and still reading. Yeaps, i don't want to log out from the page... =.= It's not the first time i am doing this. SO SILLY. They always laugh at me for my silly ways of expressing ______. I take silly as weird. WEIRD?~ (*read something and once again smiling (silly) again) . Silly/weird? I think it's NORMAL. Perhaps for me only since i am weird and am unable to comprehend normal logical thinking. =0)
Oh yes, I REMEMBERED what i want to blog about also! I am suffering from very bad stomach aches. I think it's cramps yet it feels like i am starving. =.= PAIN. And in the middle of the night. Thanks stomach. ( Time check: 2.22am) I AM STILL READING. Almost everyone already head to sleep and i am refusing to sleep. Somehow, i prefer this. I rather stay up till late, and wake up very late the next morning. I hate spending day times. I dread them. So stop complaining that i got freaking LONG entries. =0) And AND AND.. I think it's best to remain sad and depressed in a sense. Heehee! You get what i mean? You-know-who-you-all-are will know what i mean. Lala~ Blame you all for _____ me. Hiaks.
It's 3am AND I STILL REFUSE TO SLEEP. Yeaps. If possible, I DON't want to sleep i just want to blog on and on and on. =0) Because blogging = i can edit. You know my brain, my mouth and my hands and legs cannot coordinate well. So blogging, i can edit my thoughts. OH YES. That reminds me of something very silly in school today which made junejune somehow laugh out of no apparent reason during MicroP lab. I RAN WHEN I SAW SOME LECTURERS. OMG. I am so SULA. =.= You see, we went to the toilet and when we were going back we heard lecturers/directors reprimanding a student over slippers. And one of them was like looking at me and my slippers. And we walked faster and i ran. =.= I AM SULA.
(*time Check= 3.30am) I am re reading. =.= And i am multi-tasking. reading and blogging. And everyone's asleep already except for me of course. I think i gonna finish reading one last ____ and head to sleep alright?
I want tomorrow to be a happy day and my sis to have a safe flight to vietnam and enjoy her trip there. I want to smile for as long as i can. I want to see all the colours in the world for as long as i can. I want everyone to be happy. I want everyone to smile and not worry about anything (impossible) I don't want anyone to experience what i am experiencing.
Love, Nutelle
it's the same old brand new me.
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