Listening to: Anjing - Xiao Jing Teng Next on list: Bei Pan - Xiao Jing Teng
If I know, I know. And I don’t intend to change anything. Perhaps it’s ain’t something I want to protect anymore. I use my own way to protect things I want to protect. But I grew tired of certain things. Perhaps. =0) Either way, I still hold on to things I believe in. There are so many things I thought through already. Perhaps my thick head still need some drillings. It’s not that I am stubborn, just that I can’t stand listening to people too much. I mean, I hate to listen and do accordingly without my own point of view. And yes, at times that’s irritating I know. Heard something just now. We quarrel because we care about each other.
I tell you Xiao Jing Teng’s voice is therapeutic. Okay, ain’t sure if that is the right word to use. But I sat here, listening to him sing and start drifting of to my land of thoughts. You know at times there are so many things in the mind and you get so irritated because you can’t find a solution or find the reason why. At times I just don’t want to think about a certain thing. Call that avoiding problems because I am always doing that. I hate to do things that will let me feel uncomfortable. I hate to step out of my comfort zone. I don’t want to come up with a solution that need me to do something I don’t like. I don’t want to come up with reasons that I know will end up bruising myself. Argh, I sound like a weakling right! Anything. Back to the point. I just want to learn to think properly and make decisions that I want to account for. Lately, I tried thinking about decisions I make and which I end up regretting or trying to avoid consequences. I seriously need to grow up and learn to handle certain things. =X
Anyways, been thinking about a lot of random stuffs. This holiday is a pretty weird one. How do I place things into words? It’s like I have been living in my own world that it feels weird to have someone talking to me as an adult. I mean like telling me I should learn to make decisions on my own and stick to it. I mean I know it myself just that I don’t want to admit to it and it’s like my eyes opened after someone told me this. Thanks! Because I really need to learn.
Update tomorrow again.. Need to sleep!
Love, Your best witch Nutelle
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